Billy.

A Short Story.

Billy were six foot tall and weighed about sixty pounds soaking wet. Paint him white and light him up in the dark he would’ve looked like one of those skeletons you see on Halloween. That’s what Mr Cooper used to say, what he told everyone who came by.

But that wasn’t the first thing you noticed about Billy. Oh no. The first thing you noticed about Billy were his head. It were bigger than a ripe watermelon and about as ugly, and Mr Cooper said he reckoned if you’d a chopped his head off and weighed the rest of him the scales wouldn’t have tipped much over ten pounds.

Mr Cooper said he should be up front, showing off that big ugly head of his. Said people would come from all over to see something like that.

But Billy were shy.

Wouldn’t even look me in the eye and I were his best friend.

My name’s Jim, but that’s not my real name. Jim’s the name that Mr Cooper gave me, but my given name, the one on my birth certificate, that’s Wilberforce. Mr Cooper, he gave me that birth certificate a few years back when I turned eight. He said it weren’t much of a birthday present, but it were more than any of the others had. He said it proved who I were, gave me status, like. Sometimes he could be nice like that, Mr Cooper.

I don’t much like the name Wilberforce, much prefer to be called Jim, or even Jimmy, but someone gave me that name and I reckon that was my mum or my dad, so I don’t want to just forget about it, you know what I mean? I didn’t get nothing off my mum and dad other than that there name.

I’m keeping it.

Mr Cooper, he was the one in charge. You probably guessed that already, him being called MISTER and all. He was all right, mostly, except for that one time. I’m getting ahead of myself though, I’ll tell you about that later.

For the most part he only used his fists when he’d been on the beer. You just knew when he was in the mood and if you kept out of his way until he’d passed out, you’d be all right.

But it’s not Mr Cooper I wanted to tell you about.

No. That’s Billy.

Billy were special.

And not just because he had this massive head, so big it looked like it should just fall off his scrawny neck and roll away.

No, Billy were clever too.

Like, real clever.

He could do complicated sums in his head and count real fast. And when I say count fast, I don’t mean like when someone challenges you to count up to a thousand or something and so you say the numbers really fast, and you even say them when you’re breathing in and it makes your voice sound all funny, like you got something wrong with your chest. No, what I mean is, you could throw a fistful of stones on the ground and he’d take a real quick look at them and then tell you how many there were.

You probably don’t believe me, but it’s true. We made him do it loads of times and then counted the stones afterwards and he always got it right.

Billy knew stuff too. About everything. He could tell you anything you wanted to know about other countries, about your insides, about the moon and the stars and about new inventions and all sorts of other stuff. Mr Cooper said he was a walking, talking book.

Me, I’ve never read a book. I can’t read or write. Apart from my names, Jim and Wilberforce. I learnt to write them, I had Martha write them both down for me and I copied them and copied them until I got real good at it. Martha learned to write because her mum and dad didn’t throw her out until she was a bit older. Most of us are born freaks, but not Martha. She only turned into a freak when she were seven.

I think that was why she was so sad all the time.

She could remember being normal.

She could remember her mum and dad.

So, yeah, I couldn’t read, but that didn’t matter when I were around Billy. I didn’t have to read him to find something out, I just asked him and he told me.

It used to be that none of the other children didn’t go near him. When I said I were Billy’s best friend that wasn’t always the case. It used to be I were his only friend.

I asked Martha once why she didn’t like Billy.

She said it wasn’t that she didn’t like him, it was just that whenever she looked at him it hurt her eyes and she had to look away.

I knew what she meant. It used to hurt my eyes too when I looked at Billy. That too big for his body, ugly head of his. And his skin, the way it hung in folds off his body, like he were a lot fatter once but then he lost all the weight and his skin didn’t know what to do anymore, didn’t know where to put itself.

But I kept looking at him, and after a while it stopped hurting my eyes so much and then I just got used to him.

I told Martha this and she decided she’d do the same. So she went and sat down opposite Billy one day and she stared and stared at him, her eyes big and wide, and she just kept staring at him, didn’t look away once.

Billy hated it. He didn’t say anything but I know he hated being looked at. I thought about telling Martha to stop, but then I thought if I do that she’ll never learn to look at him without him hurting her eyes and Billy won’t never have no friends but me.

Finally, after an absolute age, Martha blinked and looked away. Then she looked back at Billy and she smiled and said, Billy, you don’t hurt my eyes no more. Can I be your friend?

And besides, Martha weren’t exactly a pretty picture to look at, and I reckon you already worked that out by yourself. Martha’s younger than me, she’s nine. I said she isn’t pretty, and she isn’t, but she could have been.

The thing is, she’s got hair, not just on her head where everyone’s got hair, but all over her face too.

Mr Cooper used to call her the Bearded Lady, but that didn’t work. I mean, who do you know that’s got a beard all over their face? Not just their chin, but cheeks and forehead and nose and just everywhere? Also, and I don’t mean to be rude to Martha here, but she weren’t exactly a lady. Ladies live in big houses in the country, and do nothing but read all day and ring tiny little silver bells when they want a cup of tea bringing to them.

At least that’s what I’ve heard, anyway.

Mr Cooper, he decided one day that Martha weren’t no Bearded Lady after all and he changed her name. Now she’s Killain, the Monkey Girl.

That’s because Mr Cooper discovered Martha weren’t just hairy on her face but all over. Everywhere.

Martha hated being Monkey Girl. When she was the Bearded Lady all she had to do was sit in a big chair and look at everyone. As Monkey Girl she had to run around and climb and jump and pretend fight with Mpenda.

Mpenda was the Savage. Which I think is funny because Mpenda was about as shy and quiet as Billy. The thing is he’s got black skin and wild hair and put him in a loin cloth and give him a spear and he looked just like one of those savages Doctor Livingstone is turning into Christians in Africa.

Mr Cooper met Doctor Livingstone once. That was when he was exploring Africa with Mr Stanley. Mr Cooper went into the Congo with Mr Stanley, but Mr Cooper don’t really talk about that much.

But I forgot, I were telling you about Billy, weren’t I?

Except, Billy and Mr Cooper and the Congo, it’s all tied in together.